I just got done reading a book called Saddled by Susan Richards. I like reading, but I rarely find time to so I had to renew this book to its renewal limit. It was worth it though, because the book related to me and my life unbelievably and unbearably well. She went looking for a horse and the first time she saw Georgia..she knew. Everyone knew. That's exactly how it was with Blondie and I. I just saw her..and I knew. I think we both did somehow. I knew that Blondie was my horse. I was bound to her. I still am. And I won't give up until she's mine forever. That's the way it was with Susan Richards and her horse Georgia. Georgia saved her and gave her a reason to live. A purpose. Blondie IS my purpose. I used to spend days trying to figure out what I wanted out of life to write down on my high school schedule applications. Eventually I'd write "undecided" or "still searching." Blondie ended that search. I can't see past her. I don't know why. It's like she just stepped onto my path, towering over me with such beauty that I never kept moving forward to the end of that path. I don't think I ever will.
Blondie...is my life. She's not a goal, a conquest, or an achievement. When someone says, "Look at yourself years from now. What do you see?" I only see Blondie. And if she's not there..what then? Nothing..quiet, calm, erased. I'd have no purpose. No passion. Nothing.
I want my parents to understand this more than they want to. I wish they could see..feel..the way I do. Then there'd be no question in getting her. No hesitation whatsoever. But I don't really care whether anyone understands it, as long as I do. Blondie and I know what it is. I feel it every time I'm with her. Calm. Safe. Home. Whatever it is, it's not something I can forget and move on. No..it's much, much more.
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