One in a million

They say a person's horse is the mirror image of themselves, and that sometimes you don't like what you see. Blondie & I have both been through Hell and back, but I don't see why God shouldn't give us a chance just to be. We may be banged up a little, but we always find each other in the end. It just took us awhile to realize that neither one can live without the other.

I think what we both needed was for someone to let loose on the reins and just let us be free. To stop holding us back and locking us down into what they thought we needed. And that's what we found in each other; freedom. We found life, and hope, and meaning. The world made sense again.

We always find our way back to each other, because we are two parts to one whole. One soul, two beings. We are each other's purpose; each other's definition and meaning. We are one. We can feel each other entirely with our hearts, hear each other's thoughts. We are one of a kind; one in a million.

Every day I question myself about selling her, and every day I tell myself it will only hurt for a little while. That I will look back at our time together and smile and be thankful. Every day I push down that realization that it's NOT just going to go away. Surely, I will not be able to lose her without first losing a part of myself. It's going to hurt...It's going to hurt because it matters.

Maybe I'll continue to laugh; to smile. Maybe I'll hide that crack in my heart or maybe I'll cry for days, months...but there will always be those nights where the memory will tear me apart. You try spending 18 years finding the one thing that makes sense in the world & then have no choice but to let it go. See how easily you break & deteriorate. How quickly you lose faith & motivation.

Yea, so there are rules in life like paying taxes, working for your keep, or buying your own house. Things you have to do in order to live a good life. But what's all that worth in the end if you're not doing what you love? Success is determined by happiness. Not the other way around. All I know are horses. They are my life. Blondie is my life. What else do I have when that is gone?? Everything I've been taught, everything I've seen or learned will become of no use. I will become of no use. What then?
     Life isn't supposed to be easy. But it's not supposed to be something you regret. The problem is, people are generally given one or the other. And I already know how this story ends.